Today marks Arsene Wenger’s 66th Birthday and we’re having a bit of a party to celebrate here at Football Fancast.
The Arsenal gaffer is one of the greatest managers in Premier League history and although that hasn’t always been reflected in silverware, there’s no questioning the influence his ideas on philosophy, diet, training and the transfer market has had over the rest of English football.
The Frenchman’s also renowned for his rather poetic quips from time to time, so with that in mind Football Fancast have scoured the world wide web for 66 of the best Arsene Wenger quotes.
Some are from the man himself, others are from peers, pundits, friends and foes, but all give a little glimpse into the man known as simply ‘Le Professeur’, who has played an intrinsic role in making Arsenal the club it is today.
So sit back, relax and enjoy our 66 favourite Arsene Wenger quotes from his 19-year reign in north London.
1. “I did not see the incident”
“I did not see the incident,” kicks off this list, simply because it’s the most common phrase in Arsene Wenger’s vocabulary. Offside goals, controversial penalties, horror tackles and red cars were all met with this response during the first decade of Wenger’s north London reign. He’s got a bit more honest since.
2. IGNORANCE IS BLISS
In 2009, Wenger admitted that he in fact isn’t as blind as a bat and actually saw every aforementioned dubious decision that went Arsenal’s way.
“Sometimes I see it [a foul by an Arsenal player], but I say that I didn’t see it to protect the players and because I could not find any rational explanation for that they did.”
3. Good Maths
“Of the nine red cards this season we probably deserved half of them.”
Le Professeur clearly didn’t get his PHD in basic arithmetic. Speaking of which…
4. One-Nil to the Arsenal
“When I first came to Arsenal, I realised the back four were all university graduates in the art of defending. As for Tony Adams, I consider him to be a doctor of defence. He is simply outstanding.”
An early Wenger analogy preceding the many to follow. The Gunners gaffer metaphorically describes the virtues of Arsenal’s legendary defence of Lee Dixon, Tony Adams, Steve Bould, Martin Keown and Nigel Winterburn.
5. Wenger on Paul Scholes
Paul Scholes was a fantastic goal scorer, a fantastic passer and a fantastic creator. He was not, however, a fantastic tackler.
“I liked the pitch, I liked the referee, I did not like Paul Scholes’ tackles,” said Wenger in 2011. And whilst we’re on the subject of Manchester United…
6. “Old Traffordish”
“The penalty decision was Old Traffordish.”
Wenger has a knack for coining new terminology. This might be his best yet.
7. “Footballistically”
“For managers such big scores don’t have any meaning, whether you win 5-0 or you lose 5-0. You’re elated (with such a victory) but ‘footballistically’ it does not show the real difference between teams.”
Judge for yourself. Footballistically hasn’t quite made it into the Oxford Dictionary just yet.
8. Financial doping
“They [Chelsea] are a financially doped club. They have enhancement of performances through financial resources which are unlimited. It puts pressure on the market that is not very healthy. They can go to Steven Gerrard or Rio Ferdinand and say ‘how much do you earn? We’ll give you twice as much’. I don’t know if there is anything we can do to stop it.”
Financial doping, on the other hand, first used by Wenger on the eve of the 2005 FA Cup final, brings up over one million search results on Google and has become common diction within the beautiful game.
9. Dignified in defeat
The Arsenal boss has always been a graceful loser. “I don’t kick dressing room doors or the cat or even football journalists,” quipped Wenger when asked how he handles defeat. Good news for us here at Football Fancast!
10. Jose Antonio Reyes Part I
“Despite the global warming, England is still not warm enough for him,” Wenger revealed to journalists upon news that Jose Antonio Reyes wanted to return to Spain after just two and a half seasons in north London.
11. Jose Antonio Reyes Part II
The only problem was that no La Liga clubs actually wanted to sign the former Spain winger, leading to yet another witty Wenger analogy.
“It’s like you wanting to marry Miss World and she doesn’t want you, what can I do about it? I can try to help you, but if she does not want to marry you what can I do?”
12. “A team is like a beautiful woman”
Speaking of stunners and witty Wenger analogies, here’s another. “A football team is like a beautiful woman. When you do not tell her, she forgets she is beautiful.”
13. Boring, boring Spurs
“I tried to watch the Tottenham match on television in my hotel yesterday, but I fell asleep.”
Wenger earns a few extra brownie points amongst the fans with this cheeky dig at Arsenal’s bitter rivals.
14. Nick Hornby
“Arsène’s shadow has cast a gloom all the way up Seven Sisters Road [which leads to Tottenham] for quite a while now. I and the vast majority of Arsenal fans have an enormous amount of faith in Wenger.”
Enough of the Wenger soundbites. Here’s what author Nick Hornby, famed for his autobiographical depiction of the life of an Arsenal fan in Fever Pitch, had to say about the Frenchman’s influence on the north London rivalry in 2008.
15. How to manage the unmanageable
“When you’re dealing with someone who only has a pair of underpants on, if you take his underpants off, he has nothing left – he’s naked. You’re better off trying to find him a pair of trousers to complement him rather than change him.”
Yet another Wenger analogy, explaining how to get the best out of difficult characters.
16. SUCCESS IS COMPULSORY
“At some clubs success is accidental. At Arsenal it is compulsory.”
Does what it says on the tin, this one.
17. SACRIFICE
“Any man who concentrates his energies totally on one passion is, by definition, someone who hurts the people close to him.”
A philosophical take on Wenger’s passion for the beautiful game.
18. “Playerish”
Wenger’s thirst for new phrases emerged once again at the start of the 2007-08 campaign. “I’m very excited with this team because they are ‘playerish’—if there is such a word—they love to play,” he replied, when quizzed upon the virtues of a squad including Cesc Fabregas, Alexander Hleb, Alex Song, Theo Walcott, Emmanuel Adebayor and Robin van Persie.
19. A NIGHT ON THE TOWN WITH WENGER
Wenger tried to dispel the myth that he hates spending money my tempting journalists into joining him for a night out at his expense. “There is a huge difference between the perception that people have of me and [the reality]: I’m not scared to spend money. If you go out with me one night, you will understand that.”
20. Wenger on the dance floor
And Wenger’s passion for boozy nights out has since been confirmed by Mirror Football’s Arsenal correspondent John Cross, who writes in latest book about the Gunners boss; “He enjoys social occasions – just as long as there’s no football on. Yes, he really can dance and a little bird tells me that he almost moves better across the dance floor than on the pitch.” There’s something I’d love to see.
21. International football
“What the national coaches are doing is like taking the car from his garage without even asking permission. They will then use the car for ten days and abandon it in a field without any petrol left in the tank. We then have to recover it, but it is broken down. Then a month later they will come to take your car again, and for good measure you’re expected to be nice about it.”
Another exceptional analogy, this time regarding Wenger’s views towards international football.
22. “I didn’t know the English were good at swimming”
“I didn’t know the English were good at swimming. I have been in this country for 12 years and I haven’t seen a swimming pool.”
Speaking of international sport, there’s one thing Wenger failed to pick up on during his first twelve years in England – our love for gold medals in Olympic swimming. The Emirates boss came out with this classic after London 2012.
23. Fox in the box
“Maybe people will be surprised that I have signed an Englishman but I looked at his quality and not his passport. Francis (Jeffers) is a ‘fox in the box.”
A quote that will live forever in infamy. Francis ‘the fox in the box’ Jeffers arrived at Arsenal for a whopping £8million in 2001 (back when £8million was a rather ridiculous amount of money) but left three years later after scoring just eight goals in 39 appearances.
He went on to play for Charlton Athletic, Rangers, Blackburn Rovers, Ipswich Town, Newcastle Jets, Motherwell, Floriana and Accrington Stanley to produce a career return of 52 goals in 279 appearances. Awkward.
24. Look away now, Arsenal fans
Look away now, Arsenal fans. It turns out the Gunners were targeting another centre-forward alongside Jeffers in 2001, as Wenger explains; “We were considering him [Ruud van Nistelrooy] and Francis Jeffers and, in the end, we went for Jeffers.”
Just for the record, Ruud van Nistelrooy scored 347 goals in 598 career appearances, including 95 in the Premier League for Manchester United. He also finished up as the Champions League’s top scorer three times in the space of four seasons.
25. Sir Alex pays his respects
Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger weren’t always the best of friends. But the former Manchester United boss published a touching tribute when his Gunners counterpart reached the 1,000 game landmark in 2014.
“I congratulate Arsène in reaching this momentous landmark. Having also reached the same milestone at one club, I cannot emphasise enough the level of dedication, resilience as well as sacrifice required and for that I have for the utmost admiration.
“Over the years we enjoyed some fantastic battles and you could say we had survived together and respected each other’s efforts to play good football. I always enjoy watching Arsène’s sides – Arsenal play the right way. Playing against them always presented special challenges that I burned many hours over the years thinking about.
“He has always been a conscientious member of our trade who makes it his business to help other managers. Perhaps the biggest compliment I could give Arsène is that I could never be anything other than competitive with my rival for 17 years.”
26.”Benumbed”
Former QPR and Man City forward Rodney Marsh, on the other hand, was a little more precise with his words ahead of Wenger’s 1,000th game.
“My one word to describe Arsene Wenger is ‘Benumbed’,” the 71 year-old wrote on Twitter.
27. 1,000 games
Here’s what Wenger had to say about it all.
“It makes you feel ‘where did the time go?’. It looks to me like I started yesterday, I can’t believe it is such a long time. Why? Because you’re always focused on looking forward to the next game and when you look back you think ‘I made quite a distance there’.
“Despite that, your only interest is the next game, our drug is the next game, the hope for the next game, the desire to win the next one. You go step by step and finally when you look back it’s a long time.
“I would just like to say for me it’s an honour to manage a club of this dimension for such a long time and I would like to thank everybody who is involved in the club for giving me such a confidence for such a long time.”
28. PIERS ‘SUPERFAN’ MORGAN
He was inevitably going to make it onto this list somewhere. He’s one of Piers Morgan’s latest rants about Arsene Wenger’s lack of spending.
“Yesterday the deadline elapsed and I spent more money buying a cup of coffee in Starbucks for £2.50 than Arsene Wenger spent in the window after initially buying Cech earlier in the summer.
“I cannot understand why Wenger would do this. Why, when we are on the cusp of potentially challenging again, when you have £200m at your disposal, do you literally do nothing?
“I think it’s a shameful abrogation of your duties as Arsenal manager, I think it is further indicative – to me – than he is not the Arsene Wenger he was ten years ago, and I’m afraid that because of his inaction in this transfer window, Arsenal are likely to come third or fourth again or potentially slip out of the top four.
“I think Arsene Wenger was one of the greatest managers the world has ever seen for eight years, but for the next ten years he’s been unbelievably disappointing my eyes.
“This behaviour yesterday in the transfer window absolutely personifies the stubbornness, the arrogance, the intransigence and the ‘I know best’ mentality Wenger has.”
Speaking of arrogance, how’s that show on CNN working out Piers?
29. No-no Nani
After then-Manchester United winger Nani declared the Red Devils would win the league in 2010, Wenger felt compelled to put the Portugal international back in his place.
“Everybody has a different opinion in this league and nobody is a prophet. I personally don’t know who will win the league. I managed 1,600 games so, if Nani knows, he must be 1,600 times more intelligent than I am.”
30. Wenger vs Fergie
Speaking of the Red Devils, Wenger always seemed to get the upper hand on Ferguson when it came to cheeky one-liners. Here’s one of his best.
Ferguson: “They are scrappers who rely on belligerence – we are the better team”
Wenger: “Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home.”
31. Cork
“He’s pushed the cork in a bit far this time.”
This one isn’t too bad either. Sir Alex Ferguson demanded an apology from Wenger for his behaviour following a 2-0 defeat to the Red Devils. Instead, the Frenchman took at a swipe at his fondness for wine.
32. Speaking of wine…
Speaking of wine, Wenger produced this vino-fuelled metaphor when accused of not buying enough British players in 2007.
“If I give you a good wine, you will see how it tastes and after you ask where it comes from.”
33. We asked 100 people…
“You ask 100 people, 99 will say it’s very bad and the 100th will be Mark Hughes.”
The Arsenal manager wasn’t too impressed when his then-Manchester City counterpart Mark Hughes defended Emmanuel Adebayor’s infamous stamp on Robin van Persie in 2009.
34. Melvin Bragg
“I rate Wenger – he’s a very polite, well-mannered man, not forceful, though but sometimes you have to be a bit of a ruthless b*****d.”
Broadcaster, politician and Lord Melvin Bragg shared his opinions on Wenger in 2008.
35. Ice cream
“It’s like a child who is used to having ice cream whenever he wants. When it doesn’t come when he asks he tends to get confused and nervous.”
Wenger metaphorically describes the mentality of his players after a 1-1 draw with Crystal Palace in 2004.
36. Management is hell on earth
“In my job, you expect to suffer. That’s why when I go to hell one day, it will be less painful for me than you, because I’m used to suffering.”
Wenger reveals what it’s truly like being a Premier League manager.
37. Asteroid
Did you know there’s an asteroid named after Wenger floating around in deep space? It’s probably drawing up a shortlist of African teenagers to buy and thinking up similes to describe Mars as we speak.
As scientist Ian Griffin explains; “On November 21st 2007, the International Astronomical Union announced that an asteroid I discovered when working as an astronomer back in 1998 (previously known as 33179) had been officially named in honour of Arsene Wenger, the manager of my favourite football team, Arsenal.
“As discoverer, it is my privilege to propose names for asteroids I find to the Committee on small body nomenclature of the International Astronomical Union and I could think of no better person to honour in this way than the man who has taken football to a new level.”
38. That time PORTSMOUTH seceded from the UK and made Sol Campbell their Prime Minister
“It is a big surprise to me because he cancelled his contract to go abroad. Have you sold Portsmouth to a foreign country?”
Le Prof on Sol Campbell’s shock move to Portsmouth in 2006. Not the first time he’s changed clubs controversially. The England international would return to north London in 2010 and make 14 more appearances for Arsenal.
39. Wenger’s greatest achievement as Arsenal boss?
The Frenchman has claimed three Premier League titles and six FA Cups during his 19 years as Arsenal boss but this might well be his greatest achievement – inadvertently blocking Tim Sherwood’s move to Highbury back in 1996.
As the Aston Villa gaffer explains; “I was signing for Arsenal. I lived in Harpenden in Hertfordshire. It was summer time and we had been talking. We never spoke money but it was Arsenal. I got a call from Bruce Rioch. I thought it was to tell me what time to go to London Colney – but he’d got sacked.
“They got rid of him brought in some guy called Arsene Wenger and signed two players called Vieira and Petit. I’d never heard of them! I was going ‘Who are they?'”
A narrow miss, I’m sure you’ll agree.
40. Jose Mourinho part I
“I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, they have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks and speaks and speaks about Chelsea.”
The Wenger-Fergie rivalry had its unpleasant moments but it was nothing compared to the feud between the Arsenal boss and Jose Mourinho, which continues to this day. This was the Portuguese’s first big swipe at Wenger, prompting this response…
41. Wenger hits back
Of course, Wenger couldn’t simply leave it there, although his retort was considerably less lowbrow than Mourinho’s comparison to a sexual deviant.
“He’s out of order, disconnected with reality and disrespectful. When you give success to stupid people, it makes them more stupid sometimes and not more intelligent.”
42. But stupidity isn’t always a bad thing
It turns out Wenger sees a bit of himself in Mourinho, although unlikely to admit it, as this quote reveals; “Gerard Houllier is an open-minded and passionate man. I am the opposite: stubborn and stupid. But sometimes stupid behaviour makes you win.”
43. Inspector Clouseau
Simply this comedy routine from Ray Parlour.
44. Kolo Toure’s trial
This anecdote from Kolo Toure’s trial session is equally humorous, told once again by the Romford Pele.
45. The English diet
Wenger wasn’t too fond of the English diet, which is probably why he had such a revolutionary impact on nutrition in the Premier League.
“What’s really dreadful is the diet in Britain. The whole day you drink tea with milk and coffee with milk and cakes. If you had a fantasy world of what you shouldn’t eat in sport, it’s what you eat here.”
46. The Japanese diet
He was, however, far more fond of the Japanese approach to food whilst in charge of J-League outfit Nagoya Grampus Eight.
“You notice when you live there [in Japan] that there are no fat people.”
I’m sure you could find one or two if you looked really hard.
47. Japanese culture
And whilst we’re on the subject of Wenger’s short stint in the Japanese top flight, he was equally impressed with the level of respect shown in Sumo Wrestling.
“One of the things I discovered in Japan was from watching sumo wrestling. At the end you can never tell who has won the fight, and who has lost, because they do not show their emotion because it could embarrass the loser. It is unbelievable. That is why I try to teach my team politeness. It is only here in England that everybody pokes their tongue out when they win.”
48. Gary Neville on Arsene Wenger’s philosophy
A scathing analysis of Arsene Wenger’s transfer record and tactics, courtesy of Sky Sports analyst Gary Neville.
49. Shh Patrick, shh…
The Gunners manager felt compelled to put captain Patrick Vieira in his place when moaning about a lack of world-class signings in 2004, with the simple yet effective message; “You weren’t World Class when Arsenal signed you.”
Ouch.
50. Jose Mourinho part II
“At Stamford Bridge, we have a file of quotes from Mr Wenger about Chelsea football club in the last 12 months – it is not a file of five pages. It is a file of 120 pages.”
At this point in 2005, it became impossible to tell who was more obsessed; Wenger about Chelsea or Mourinho about Wenger’s obsession with Chelsea.
51. Jose Mourinho part III – Specialist in Failure
The lack of love lost between the Chelsea and Arsenal managers is no great secret but the former took matters to the extreme in 2014 when he labelled the latter a ‘specialist in failure’.
Wenger claimed a ‘fear to fail’ was the reason Mourinho had continued to downplay Chelsea’s title credentials during the 2013/14 season and this was the Portuguese’s unforgettable response; “Am I afraid of failure? He is a specialist in failure. I’m not.
“So if one supposes he’s right and I’m afraid of failure, it’s because I don’t fail many times. So maybe he’s right. I’m not used to failing. But the reality is he’s a specialist because, eight years without a piece of silverware, that’s failure.”
52. JOSE MOURINHO PART IV
Our last instalment of Jose Mourinho, which I’m sure Arsenal fans will be very pleased about. A more recent quote from ‘the Special One’, this time attacking Wenger’s job security.
“In this country, only one manager is not under pressure. Every other manager is. We cannot be below par. We have to meet the objectives. There is one outside that list, but good for him. You know who.
“The one who can speak about the referees before the game, after the game, can push people in the technical area, can moan, can cry in the morning in the afternoon, nothing happens. He can not achieve, keep his job, still be the king.”
53. PRAGMATIC FOOTBALL
Speaking of Mourinho (last mention, I swear!), here’s Wenger’s take on pragmatic football – or more particularly, the lack of pragmatic football at the Emirates.
“If I asked you who was the best team in the world you would say Brazil. And do they play good football? Yes. Which club won everything last year? Barcelona. Good football. I am not against being pragmatic, because it is pragmatic to make a good pass, not a bad one. If I have the ball, what do I do with it? Could anybody argue that a bad solution like just kicking it away is pragmatic just because, sometimes, it works by accident?”
54. How crazy people changed the world
“The biggest things in life have been achieved by people who, at the start, we would have judged crazy. And yet if they had not had these crazy ideas the world would have been more stupid.”
Wenger gives his thoughts on the progression of mankind. I wonder where he sees himself fitting in on the crazy spectrum.
55. Wenger vs The Media
“If I go into a season and I say, ‘For f**k’s sake, if we don’t win anything, they will all leave,’ I have already lost. The problem of the media is always to imagine the worst. The problem of the manager is always to imagine the best.”
Wenger on the difference between himself and the British media.
56. PUB LIFE
If you want to become a football manager, the pub is an unlikely yet promising place to start. Sir Alex Ferguson owned and managed two pubs whilst he was in charge at St. Mirren and Wenger grew up in an Alsace drinking establishment – something which he believes gave him a vital early insight into human psychology.
“There is no better psychological education than growing up in a pub when you are five or six because you meet all different people and hear how cruel they can be. You hear the way they talk to each other like saying ‘You’re a liar.’ And from an early age you get a practical psychological education into the minds of people.”
57. Motivation
“When you look at people who are successful, you will find that they aren’t the people who are motivated, but have consistency in their motivation.”
This one is straight out of the Brendan Rodgers handbook.
58. Another Rodgerism
“If you cannot believe you can do it then you have no chance at all.”
As is this one.
59.From Caviar to Sausages
“If you eat caviar every day it’s difficult to return to sausages.”
A delicate quip from Wenger following a 1-1 draw with Middlesbrough in 1998. Not sure how much caviar they serve upon Riverside, but they definitely know how to make a good bangers and mash.
60. Money ain’t everything, Nicky
“No matter how much money you earn, you can only eat three meals a day and sleep in one bed.” In summer 1999, the Gunners gaffer felt compelled to remind Nicolas Anelka that money isn’t everything whilst flogging the former France striker to Real Madrid for £22.3million.
61. Ca$hley Cole
Former England international Ashley Cole infamously switched London allegiances to Chelsea in 2006 but had come close to making the move a year earlier in one of the Premier League’s biggest tapping up scandals.
He was fined £100k after being spotted at dinner with agent Jonathan Barnett, Jose Mourinho and Peter Kenyon in a snazzy London hotel, prompting this typically poetic response from Arsene Wenger; “If people come to your window and talk to your wife every night, you can’t accept it without asking what is happening.”
62. Ball is Life
“I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art. When you read some books they are fantastic, the writer touches something in you that you know you would not have brought out of yourself. He makes you discover something interesting in your life. If you are living like an animal, what is the point of living? What makes daily life interesting is that we try to transform it to something that is close to art. And football is like that. When I watch Barcelona, it is art.”
Wenger on life, the beauty of Barcelona and the meaninglessness of everything in between.
63.”We make superstars”
“We don’t sign superstars, we make them.”
A quote from 2007 that will probably divide opinion amongst the Arsenal fan base. But whether or not you agree with the direction Wenger has taken the club in the last 19 years, there’s no questioning the Frenchman’s record when it comes to developing world-class players.
64. ROY KEANE
“There was a debate about Wenger on Sky and how crazy is that? People are actually getting interviewed saying he shouldn’t be doing this. What that man’s done for English football is amazing and will be remembered in 25, 50, 100 years’ time. Will those on telly yesterday be remembered for what they’ve achieved? None whatsoever.”
A staunch defence of Wenger from an unlikely source. Roy Keane spent his playing days kicking lumps out of Arsenal’s midfielders yet the former Manchester United captain clearly holds Le Prof in the highest esteem.
65. RETIREMENT PART I
“I am sure you’ll miss me when I’m gone.”
We certainly will, Arsene.
66.RETIREMENT PART II
“I’ll buy a season ticket, go to the games in red and white and hope Arsenal win on Saturday.”
Wenger’s retirement plans. The utmost respect for a man who, regardless of success or shortcomings, possesses an immeasurable and unconditional love for Arsenal Football Club.
My eyes are leaking a little bit.